note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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