Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
