CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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