We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
