Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
