My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Randomize
