I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize