My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
