Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
