i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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