i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
