I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
