Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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