I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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