HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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