I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
