is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
