She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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