I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
