Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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