This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
