I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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