You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize