That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
