My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
