Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
