i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize