the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
