We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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