Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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