so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
