I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize