So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
