i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
