Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You pole danced in your parka.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
