I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
