Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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