And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
