I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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