You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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