Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
