remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
