Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
