I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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