He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
