Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
