just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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