I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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