dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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