i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize