fuck your aforementioned shoe
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
