Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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