Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
