Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
