Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
