p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
