oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
