he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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