Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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