it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
