Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
