I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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