I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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