Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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