I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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